Fists of glory and sand ©

Come visit me in London you wankers.

I am officially 21 years old. Drank at the bars legally. Rode a mechanical bull. Bought alcohol for a friend. Pretty much a fucking awesome birthday all around.
I got the digital camera I wanted, and sooo many other wonderful things like the Amy Sedaris book, "I Like You -- Hospitality Under the Influence", it's the best book and every girl should own it.

I finished the Fall semester of my Junior year at Chico State and now I am moving on to bigger and better things... LONDON!!! It's soo weird knowing that I am not coming back to Chico for so long. I love it here and I am actually quite sad that I'll be leaving my friends for such a long time ...but what the hell. I'm going to go absolutely mad without my Jeremiah.

Sunday will mark mine and Jeremiah's TWO YEAR ANNIVERSARY. I am sooo happy and could not think of anyone else I'd rather be celebrating a two year anniversary with.

Right now I am watching Pee Wee's Playhouse Christmas and it's the shit. Paul Rubens is pretty much genius status. Fuckin awesome.

I sit here and read about all of you in college. I attend college, but it is Chico State. It is different because apparently I am not learning shit and my finals are a joke, "Be here Monday for pizza, but you have to bring your own alcohol." This is what comes out of my painting professor's mouth. How silly is that? But I do not feel sorry for all of you who have actual finals, because you are lucky -- you are learning! And learning is amazing! I got called a "Shit Talker" today for trying to be honest and actual do some legitimate work in my -- GET THIS!-- Small Groups Communications class, of all things. What a way to communicate. It was a shittyweirdfeeling day to put it bluntly.
Life is weird... and it just occured to me today as well that this is THE LAST WEEK OF SCHOOL, this is the last time I'll have to attend my bullshit classes. Of course I have a lot to look forward to with my 21st coming up an all.
I'm in love with ...





Will Ferrell. How can you blame me? Honestly?



I need to start planning my European plans!!! Who is in that continent? Anyone? My study abroad lovelies... ?

I am in heaven... even though midterms have been weighing me down, I am officially going to London for the spring semester!!!
I'm so fucking stoked. I can't believe it. I have been wanting to do this for so long.
Cheers,
Mary Ella

http://csuchico.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2007902&l=e0e4f&id=29900214

Well hello there!!!
Check out the pictures from the CRUX Salon de Refuses in Chico.
It was one of the most fun events I've attended this semester and I was extremely proud to be a part of it.
Show some love my lovelies.
Hope life is good.
Finals are pretty much over, I have to work on my painting final, write about art and then I'm DONE!!! DONE DONE DONE DONE.
Summer jobs here I come!
Who wasn't to go to Santa Cruz with me? Cause I wanna go. AND, I wanna go camping this summer.

Schooooool is SO close to being over, and I am rather proud of myself for working my ass off (I wish literally, but that'll come soon enough)...
I'm wallowing in my search for a place to live for next semester. Blah blah blah...
Come visit me in Chico!!!! I'll be here through May, so if you wanna come up and play... you're ALWAYS welcome - all of you.
Tomorrow I hang my work in my SECOND exhibition, I'm stoked.
Love always... always always and only.

Mmm... things are good but the future is looking kind of daunting.
I have three pieces of art submitted into competitions currently, really four, but one is so ridiculous it doesn't even count.
I have a photograph up in a gallery now, which is exciting- My first exhibition.
I feel like within the past few days I've had some sort of revelation, awaking... detoxing. My mind has been so swamped and stressed lately that it takes for me to break down in order to realize that something is wrong, when really nothing - no one thing- is really wrong... just a lot of neglected issues and feelings. Still I wonder how much I really know.
I've been sitting here, sipping tea and trying to figure out my future within the next year. There are so many options, too many yet nothing is really screaming my name, nothing beckons my soul, nothing feels right.
I need to find a place to live, somewhere where I can feel comfortable, listening to music, maybe smoke le mj at times, and also do my artwork and schoolwork. I'm an odd balance of an over-achieving slacker. I'll get my work done but just at the last minute, and this semester as I'm trying to earn all A's, it's so effing hard I realize that I need to step it up, take things just a bit more seriously maybe. But I don't want to have to hang out with alcoholics and people who are on uppers and downers or some crazy thing all the time. I don't want to have to worry about whether a bill will be paid fairly, or rent will be covered. I can take care of these things but it's everyone else I'm aprehensive about.
At this point in my life, I am seriously reconsidering who I hang out with, who my immediate friends are, and as I did my own thing around my apartment tonight (cleaning the kitchen, organizing the living room, whatnot) I would sparatically check my phone to see if my friends had called, as they were supposed to and after text messages are not returned and plans are not followed through I grow tired of irresponisible people. Where are all the people with class and integrity, at least... common decency?!
I know I sound like an aingsty teenager, but nobody gets me here. Blah.


Today was beautiful. It was sooo sunny and breezy outside. I sat on benches and soaked up the warmth, wearing my Janis Joplin shirt and my favoritest sunglasses I couldn't have been more happier, just enjoying the green outdoors and reading about Death. My death class, despite the morbid subject, is actually turning out to be one of my more fun classes. Though I love my art classes (painting, printmaking, photo and sculpture) it just seems like nothing is really stimulating my interest this semester, maybe it's overload or maybe I'm just completely uninspired but I'm in a rut and I'm slowly clawing away at the walls, digging myself out of it. While my future awaits me, I'll dream of all the possibilities.

With all my love,
Mary Ella

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=623119375&n=2

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT!

Is it just me, or does the Burger King freak the shit outta you? Cause it scares me. I flinch whenever I see that huge plastic freak face...
I mean, seriously, WTF?
Blah...
I need sleep. Granted it is 3 a.m. Stupid TIME CHANGE. It's just not fair. Don't you agree? I sure think so.
I'm trying to detox from too many weekends of unloving myself. I should drink more water and eat more fruit. yeah, alas I have not shopped in so long. I'll live on pizza, bagels and coffee, right? right guys? aahhhhahhaha. I didn't think so either.

Why can't Monday come sooner? I'm just waiting it out till the jeremiah comes up to Chico, that way I don't have to shop twice. I've decided that everytime I don't go to the store I save myself at least $20. Pretty SHWEET if you ask me.
Anyway.I'm off to dreamland.
NAPPY TIMES!!!

Mmmmm I can't wait for my baby to be here with me...
Oy vey, three hours is way toooooo far away.


By the way, this is funnnnnny: Yikers.com Video: Natalie Portman Gangsta Rapper

This (^)is what I do when I'm bored... I'm so bored!!! Oh, I need to go finish a roll of film so I can develop it tomorrow. Wooooooo!!! I'm a photographer! I luff it! (by the way Leney, if you read this: I am soooo extatic to spend time with you in your darkroom this summer!!!)

Where have I been? You ask, so curious and eager...
Well, I'll say, all quiet like and listless...

I've been watching way too much tv, staying too long of days in the Art hall at my little Chico State... and smoking way too much of the weed... Oh PISHAh... as if there were such a thing.
See what I mean?
I need some new hobbies, besides cutting my hair, and hanging out at Katie's.
I'm going to the mountains tomorrow, then I'm going home on Sunday to see my babyfacelovemuffin (eek!)

I miss Jeremiah (love love love love love love love!!!). If he were here, I would definitely not be online right now... that's for sure. Oy vey. Why hasn't teleportation been invented yet... why!? why... agh. well I mean, you know, made usable. Whatever... it's almost 3am, and I'm WIPED.
Oh! I went to a toga party today and took way too many jello shots and jungle juice... Blaeehahahhaghhh... the cookies were good though, and you all know how I feel about cookies. :)

SOOO, seriously though. Exciting news: In my photography class we are having an exhibition at a local coffee shop called Has Beans. I'm mundo excited considering my stupid painting class was totally lame about the last show I was supposed to be in. Anyway.
I'm an artist, and I like it.

Soon, I will be picking my classes for next semester =D I am not exactly sure what I'm going to take, but I have an idea that I won't be able to take four art classes again... It's probably for the better, cause doing too many things I love makes me lazy.

I like cookies!!!!!!!! Especially when they're thin mint girl scout cookies... so delish!

Dearest LiveJournaly goodness,
I'm back in Chico, after coming home this weekend it seems like I've been gone forever. Though, with my classes everything catches up to me too soon, I feel like I'm always just one step behind. Today my Sculpture teacher brought back way too many memories of crazy Ms. Daily... what a bitch! My sculpture teacher, Blake, is one of those young teachers trying to establish his rep in the Art dept, so he feels the need to treat everyone like shit, in order to make himself look good. I hate people like that. I hate them. He has redeeming qualities, sure, and it is only the first few weeks of school, so maybe he's just trying to get in the groove of things (like everyone else, so gimme a break!). I still don't think it's fair to single me out in front of the whole class, and tell me "Maybe you should seriously consider dropping this class..." in response to me telling him I had to go pay the parking meter. MAYBE he should seriously consider dropping dead!!! That's what I shoulda said, but instead I left to pay the meter and tried to stifle the swelling lump in my throat.
Despite that dip in my day, I've had a pretty good one.
I developed my first roll of film in Photog, which turned out well and was really very satisfying to be able to do something like that myself. Also, I had pizza, and listened to the White Stripes and wore Converse... so all in all, my day has been pretty nice so far.

This weekend:
On Saturday my mom and I had a day to ourselves, we went to my daddy's grave and put Rudy's donuts on it along with a bouquet of flowers. He loved donuts, so it seemed fitting... and as my mom sat there, we listened to "Do You REalize?" by the Flaming Lips as it blasted from her car stereo, despite all the other passer-bys and mourners. It was nice. I miss him a lot, and even though it's almost been 3 years since he died it seems timeless. So many things have happened since then, other people now gone, new feats made, great and tragic things have happened but life just isn't the same. It's different, swimming in my pool of memories, "right now" are just undeveloped pictures, floating in the vat of fixer, waiting to be hung up to dry. All of my memories with him are being bent and torn at the edges, fading and discoloring even though they are all still there... and even when I'm lucky, I'm struck with a memory from so long ago. Days that we'd go to the park or the beach in San Francisco, and throw frisbees into the ocean, or into a tree, or we'd hit baseballs and even go to Giants games. None of those things are the same, none of them are done without thinking of him, wondering how much fun it would be if he were still here. He is here, with me, in my heart and soul. I feel it, I feel myself growing and becoming older, and as I do I realize how much a part of everyone around me is in me.

With so much love it could drown the world,
Mary Ella
P.S. Does anyone else who owns Uggs find it really really hard to wear any other shoes? They're SOoooooo comfortable!

They took all the trees
Put 'em in a tree museum
And they charged the people
A dollar and a half just to see 'em
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Till it's gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot...
- Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi

This is someone who makes my days brighter and more worthwhile... We drive each other crazy in all the best and worst ways anyone can be driven crazy. I've never been happier or luckier.

This morning we walked from North Beach up to Coit Tower as the sun was rising and I had never experienced anything so special and rare with anyone before. We watched as the sky turned a pale pink and blue to the most vibrant yellow and orange and red I had ever seen in a sky. I wanted to capture it in everyway possible but I think where it will remain best preserved is in my memory. (though pictures are always nice too)... I want to make a point in my life to retain these moments in cherished memories, but more than anything I want to have as many opportunities for them as possible.

With all my heart,
Mary Ella

PS: Did anyone else have a really weird Friday the 13th

EEEEEEEEEEEEE! MY FOOT IS ASLEEP!!!!